Always ensure the victim’s/survivor’s safety and your own. If the situation is dangerous, contact emergency services.
Speak in a private, safe place where the victim feels safe. Use phrases like “I am here for you.” “You are not alone.” “Help is available.” “You are supported.”
Offer physical comfort (if appropriate): A blanket or tea can provide comfort. However, always respect their boundaries and ask before initiating physical contact.
Listen actively
Allow the victim/survivor to share their story at their own pace and in a way that makes them feel safe. Remember that this is a very vulnerable experience for them.
Align your body posture to make the survivor or victim feel heard and seen.
Silence can be powerful and sometimes necessary as they process their thoughts.
Be supportive and non-judgmental: Listen without judgment or blame. Use phrases like “I believe you” and “This is not your fault.” “It’s okay to feel this way.” Avoid saying: “Why didn’t you leave?”, “Are you sure this happened?”, “It’s not that bad.”
Validate their experience by reinforcing that what happened to them is serious and deserves attention. Say things like, “What happened to you is serious, and your feelings are important.”
Avoid comparing their situation to others or your own experiences, as this can make them feel misunderstood or dismissed.
Offer practical help
Offer to accompany them to appointments, help with childcare if you are in a position to do so, or assist in finding legal advice or shelter.
Help them make a safety plan: If they are in immediate danger or fear future harm, assist them in creating a safety plan, including finding a safe place to go, important contacts, and steps to take in an emergency.